The Pros and Cons of Having Manners

Nowadays, there seems to be a lack of gentlemen and ladies. Very rarely will a man hold a door open for a girl. Very rarely will a woman thank a man for doing something for her that he didn't have to do. In general, our society has lost a lot of social graces and manners.

Growing up my, mom and dad tried hard to teach us that using our manners was crucial. They taught manners at home, at cultural events, and in day to day activities.  I remember my dad going out of his way to teach us how to eat with chopsticks because it was one way to use our manners in certain public settings. The way we present ourselves makes a difference in our lives or others' lives.

Pros of Using Manners

1. Manners will help you get further in everything. I don't know about you, but if someone yells at me, I don't want to help them. If someone is kind and uses please and thank you, I am way more likely to help them with what they need.
2. In a job interview, you are more likely to get the job. If you go straight into a job interview using genuine etiquette, you will make a great impression!
3. By being a lady or gentleman while dating, you will get a lot further. It doesn't mean not being real with the person you are dating. Marriage advice: Whatever manners you use while dating should continue after being married. This council will help your marriage!
4. If you use manners, you are seen as being more educated. Sitting up to a table with a napkin, not putting your elbows on the table, and not talking with your mouth full will make you look more sophisticated. 
5. You are a pleasant person to be around. The other day we were in a parking lot, and a truck trying to back up was blocked in by another car. Instead of talking to the other driver nicely, the boy in the truck yelled out of his window some choice words and revved his engine. Not attractive!!
6. The world will be a better place! Can you imagine if everyone acted kindly and had manners? The world would be such a happy place! Improving your approach can go a long way!
7. You will get more in the long run. While working for a company that provided services, I was amazed to find that rude people were often charged more. They were paying more for their lack of manners. If you want to save money, be kind to those who provide you services:)

Cons of Using Manners

1. Manners can be considered a "sissy" thing. You and I know the mean things said about someone who goes out of their way to help others out (ex. momma's boy, feminine, or too nice). As I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I was seen as too "snooty" to help people from rough backgrounds. It was sad that because I used manners the people around me judged me to be goody-good.
2. Manners are hard to teach! When a child is screaming for something, it is hard to keep your cool while telling them to use their manners. The other day I gave my little boy two little candy corns. He is a BIG sweet tooth and thought he needed a whole bowl of candy corn, not just two! Immediately he was on the floor screaming. It was hard as a parent to remind him to use his manners. 
3. They are not consistent culture to culture. Even in the United States, the western states have different standards than the eastern states. Then try going to a foreign country. It is hard to keep up.
4. It can be harder to tolerate those with different standards of manners.  You may feel as if you know how to live better. Hate to tell you. You are not any better!
5. It can be uncomfortable. When you find yourself surrounded by people that don't use manners, it can be uncomfortable. You will definitely feel that you stand out and don't fit in. 
6. It can be hard use manners, when someone has been nothing but rude. Sometimes it would be nice to throw away manners for a few seconds, in order to give someone a piece of your mind. 

Overall I think that using manners can benefit every person! No matter the cost and time it takes to learn how to be a lady and gentleman, no education can replace how we treat those around us!

"Our goal is to help the world make decisions with a list of Pros and Cons. We invite all to add to our lists to help others make the most educated decision possible. We are all in this world together to help each other and learn from what others have learned from their lives journey." - Pros and Cons Team

Written By: Sarah